When I was about 19 I started to cut myself. I used to cut up and down my inner forearms. I used to cut in winter because I was able to cover my scars with a cardigan or a jacket. I used to wrap them in bandages when I couldn’t use a jacket and told… Read More Overcoming Self-Harm
“I belong with you, you belong with me, you’re my sweetheart” these are some of the lyrics to the song Ho Hey by The Lumineers. I walked down the aisle to this song sung by my youngest brother. So it holds a lot of sentiment to me. In fact I am listening to the song… Read More Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy
I’ve mentioned before that I am on lithium (mood stabiliser) and seroquel (antipsychotic). I went on medication because of my mixed moods and my delusional paranoia. Both medications were increased due to my worsening mixed moods but mainly to combat my hallucinations. I don’t remember when exactly the hallucinations started. I hallucinate during the day,… Read More Reasons to Medicate
I had a session with the Doc today. “Have the hallucinations gotten better?” No I tell him. I tell him about the man I saw walking behind Rob in our parking lot basement last week, the man who wasn’t there on second glance. I looked but he wasn’t there. I tell him about the music… Read More Side Effects or Madness
So I was asked to come in for an unscheduled or emergency session if you will. The walk to the Doc’s office took ten minutes longer thanks to the drowsiness of the seroquel increase. I sat across from his as always and began to explain to him the symptoms I have been experiencing. The Doc… Read More Beneath the Surface
I had an appointment with Dr F, the psychologist today. I told her about the voice I heard the other night. Can you tell me what was going through your mind when you heard the voice? Well I had one part of me saying “don’t be ridiculous, you can see there is nobody here!” While another part… Read More Labeling the Noise
I am so afraid to close my eyes because I will hear that voice again, singing ever so eerily. I am staring towards my bedroom door, my whole body faces that way to keep an eye out for what I KNOW is lurking in the shadows. I can FEEL it there watching me and waiting… Read More The Things That Go Bump In The Night
I am currently in a mixed episode. I am primarily in a hypomanic state whilst showing symptoms of mild depression. Mixed states are in a league of their own. I cannot keep up with my moods. Earlier tonight I was feeling depressed, I didn’t want to talk, move or do anything. An hour later and… Read More Mixed Much?